My trashy ideas

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For a girl who loves rearranging furniture, my latest in-home alteration brings me less happiness and fulfillment than I anticipated. I finally found a garbage can that will fit under my kitchen sink, with a little maneuvering. This has cleared up space in the kitchen and more space in my home of little space makes me happy. Yet, throwing things away in my new garbage can brings me very little joy. I wonder at this. Could it be that this new domestic arrangement wasn’t a good idea? Could it be that my brilliant idea will prove not-so-brilliant? There is a lot riding on this deal. When I told Kim about my shift in trash receptacle location he had this to say:
“marriage is about change and compromise, right? This pushes the boundaries a bit.  In return, I would like an ipad.”
So, if it works and there is harmony in garbage-can land, Kim gets an ipad. If it doesn’t, I lose my extra 2 square feet of space in the kitchen and save at least five hundred dollars. Hmm, I wonder if my lack of joy is a subconscious desire to dislike my new garbage can and it’s locale under my sink.
Or, it could be (and this might be a stretch) that I am thinking deeply about things that merit little or no thought at all. Again, sorry for the lack of pictures. I don’t think my words alone are enough to make this post interesting. Then again, a picture of a garbage can isn’t that interesting to look at. Even one that is under my sink.

My Reality Check

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I have a healthy respect for the water. Be it lake, river, ocean or swimming pool. I have overcome my paralyzing fear enough to go swimming and enjoy myself. However, I am sure my underlying anxiety has been projected on to my children. Luckily for me, my husband is a great swimmer and is a good example to our kids of what swimming really looks like. For the past year we have been taking our kids swimming a few times a month to get them more comfortable in the water and hopefully, they will learn to swim in the process. It has been working, and both April and Janey have made significant progress. I am so thankful. I don’t so much care if they are ever on the high school swim team or win any medals, but I want them to have the survival skill. I want them to know what to do if they ever get in a situation where it’s either sink or swim. Well, Janey had some practice in that area on Wednesday when we were at the pool. I was sitting on the side, Kim was in the pool and all our kids were within a few feet of both of us. Nevertheless, neither of us noticed when Janey decided to swim across the corner of the pool where we were. It was a distance of about 10 feet. I was talking to Kim and the next thing I knew, Janey came up, crying and coughing. “You didn’t help me!” she said accusingly, amidst the spluttering. Apparently about halfway across, she began struggling. Kim and I were totally oblivious to this. Fortunately the lifeguard wasn’t. She told us later she was watching and was getting ready to jump in when Janey made it to the side. She said she was impressed that Janey just kept her legs up and kept kicking and paddling until she reached the side. So while I am standing there apologizing and feeling like the worst mother ever, she is complimenting Janey on her swimming skills. It made me feel better. A little. At least I know that Janey kept going even though she was scared. I suppose Dory the Blue Tang said it best when she told Marlin to just keep swimming. Finding Nemo is a source of deep and profound wisdom, in case you weren’t aware.

My about-face……book

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There are key moments in a person’s life when they have life-changing experiences. They learn deeper truths, their mind are opened and they become better. This is not one of those moments. But I have done something I have avoided for a long time: I joined Facebook. It’s a big step for me. It’s not that I was anti-facebook before, I just thought I should tread carefully before diving in. Now, with my blog slightly broken, I feel the time has come. I feel that I can probably handle Facebook now. I hope I can be responsible. I hope I can figure the whole thing out eventually. I hope I will remember the important things in my life and not ignore them. I hope I can keep in touch better with friends and family that I never see. I hope one day Facebook will invent a “Don’t Like” button. I guess that is just a recipe for spitefulness, but I would use it for good. For things like celebrity cookbooks and The Bachelor.

My Christmas Letter (grain of salt required)

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Merry Christmas everyone!

Hello! We at the Christensen house want to wish you a Merry Christmas. We are still happy, good-looking and successful. To avoid looking snobbish, we still live in our little house in Ephraim that we built ourselves. We could a buy a bigger house and easily afford it and we feel it is important that you know that. But we are humble people, which is why Kim waited until February to purchase a Macbook Air. He uses it constantly in his world of Information Technology and Web development. I am still busy and important, homeschooling my too-brilliant-for-public-school children and working in the world of academia at Snow College. I have also recently started taking a writing class, mostly to give the teacher pointers. Just to prove how amazing we are, and not necessarily because we needed it, Kim and I started running this summer. We competed in several races and I garnered many accolades and sponsors to support my new running career. We are currently on sabbatical for the winter.
April started piano lessons after displaying clear signs of being a prodigy. She still reads constantly; mostly books that weigh as much as she does. And she will be performing a solo at her ballet recital coming up this month. We expect to see you all there. It is ten seconds worth traveling for.
Janey is excelling at gymnastics where her flexibility and muscle control leave her teacher speechless. We are already discussing scholarship opportunities with the U of U, USU and BYU. She is constantly in creative mode: drawing, painting, sculpting, and even fashion design. The permeability between her right and left brain knows no bounds.
Eli shows promise for a career in corporate litigation. Also construction. And demolition. And super-hero-ness. His debating skills are top-notch and once he makes a stand he does not budge. Ever. He also shows a no-fear attitude when dealing with those who lead his familial organization.
We feel very humble and proud to be so happy, good-looking and successful. We hope you had half as good of a year as we did. If not, well, at least you are related to or friends with a happy, good-looking and successful family:
The Christensens

My Delicious Cake

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One of my favorite bands is Cake.  So when our friends asked us if we wanted to go see them at Saltair we said “you betcha!”.  I like them because they are different, they have personality, their music is good, different and fun.  Plus, it takes me back to my college days listening to “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” and “Sheep go to Heaven, Goats go to Hell”.

A self portrait at the concert.

Our friends took some better ones but they wouldn’t send to my email for some reason.  I was on the verge of being disappointed as the concert was winding down, but during the encore they played two of the songs I most wanted to hear.  I really, really wanted to take some video or at least get a picture of the band, but they said anyone caught taking pictures or video would be escorted from the concert.  So I was all nervous cause there were these humongous security guys sniffing out the people w/ their ipods out.  So I didn’t dare.   They are great entertainers, but a little overly anal about who takes pictures of them.  I think it’s just good advertising, myself.

My Family’s Weekend vs. My Weekend

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Who doesn’t live for the weekends?  I especially love Fridays because I feel like I can relax, kick back and take it easy.  Chores and school-time aren’t such a huge priority on Fridays.  A Saturday at home is a rare treat for us, and probably for many other people too.  Saturdays where I am not working, and we don’t have to be in SLC or Richfield attending some family event  are few and far between.  I worked this weekend, so Kim and the kids had to make their own fun.  They didn’t seem to let my absence affect their inner weekend-warrior.  So while I did this from 12-6 on Saturday and 5-11 on Sunday:

My husband and kids did this:

And this:

Sledding and Snowboarding in Fairview Canyon on Saturday and down to Grandpa and Grandma’s on Sunday for a birthday party and Wii tournament.  Don’t worry about me guys, you go have fun while I sit here and think of things to whine about on my blog.

My Sweet Six Year-old

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Janey discovered the magic of the snorkel at the pool

Janey turned six on Monday, which still has me reeling a little bit.  To me, turning six seems like the first official step in big-kid land.  It’s great fun having my kids home all day on their birthday.  I get to make their breakfast of choice (without having to get up at the crack of dawn to do so), they get to open one present in the morning and we go to lunch at McDonalds.  Actually, we would go anywhere they wanted, they just always choose McDonalds.  Maybe one day we will upgrade to Subway.  I can hope, anyway.  She also wanted to go swimming that evening.  Some friends joined us at the swimming pool and afterwards for birthday cake.  It was a very fun day.  Happy Birthday Janey!

Enjoying friends, presents, the playland, her happy meal toy and...oh, yes....the food at McDonalds.

Janey wanted a beach cake, so this is what I came up with. Polly Pocket on a desert island. I have given up trying to make fancy/elaborate cakes. If my kids can be happy with this caliber of cake, I am content with that!

Six Great Things About Janey:

  • Her sense of style.  She always comes up with wonderful/creative outfits.  Emphasis on the creative part.
  • Her long, long, long eyelashes.  I covet them.
  • Her appreciation of silly, goofy things.
  • She is a great big sister.
  • She is a great little sister.
  • She LOVES gum.

My Six-Word Novel

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I have started taking a writing class that is being offered for freeeeeeee! (name that movie) through Ephraim City.  So far it has been a great experience.  I feel challenged as a writer and I am learning a lot.  We have assignments every week.  This week we were asked to write a six word novel.  This is a fun exercise attributed to Ernest Hemingway.  Some say his colleagues bet him he couldn’t write a story in six words.  Others say it was Hemingway’s personal challenge to other writers.  You may have read it before:

“For Sale:  Baby shoes, never used.”

Of course since it was Hemingway who wrote it, most of us would automatically assume something tragic happened and the ad is the result of said tragedy.  Because most everything Hemingway wrote was tragic.  Nothing is light.  If you asked him why the chicken crossed the road he would say it was to die.  In the rain. Most six-word novels have to say a lot with very little.  It can be challenging, but once you get going, it’s really quite fun.  Here are mine:

  1. Dinner, movie, heart attack.  Curtains.
  2. Broken plate, screaming newborn, crying mother.
  3. Happy Birthday!  Enjoy your new kidney.
  4. Wanted: Guillotine.  Well-sharpened.  Call Robespierre.

Here are some others I liked (not mine)

“John is dead!” she exclaimed, laughing.

“Okay, where’re the unicorns?” Noah asked.

They died.  They came back, run!

My Happy Halloween

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I have said it before.  So I might as well say it again:  Halloween is much more fun for me as a grown-up than it ever was as a kid.  The only part I loved was the candy.  The rest was torture.  Now I love the whole deal, including (or should I say especially?) the candy.  And I think my kids do, too.  So, at least I am doing one thing right as a parent.  Because every kid should enjoy this one night a year where it is socially acceptable to don a costume and walk from house to house demanding candy.  Here is how our holiday went:

My turn for preschool came on the 26th, so I had the kids wear their costumes and we had a Halloween party, wherein we decorated cupcakes. I was neither drunk nor on pain medication when I made the decision to let four three year-olds decorate cupcakes.

We made our annual trip to the pumpkin patch. Here Janey and Eli have successfully completed the straw maze.

Friday night I ran Ephraim's "Dash in the Dark" 5k. It starts at dusk at the pioneer cemetery and ends at Ephraim City cemetery. Spooky!

After the race we carved pumpkins. The kids loved Kim's monstrous jack o' lantern.

Kim has started a campaign to get the kids to stop picking out tiny pumpkins. Eli and April did better this year. Janey is still holding out.

Ready to head out trick or treating. I tried pulling off wearing an eye-patch w/ my glasses, but apparently I looked dorky. I know this because Kim told me so.

A much better picture. For one, the kids are all facing the camera, smiling and generally looking adorable as a cowboy, Pocahontas and a witch. For two, that dorky-looking, eye-patch and glasses pirate has disappeared.

My Virgin Islands Vacation

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There are many injustices in life.  Celebrity cookbooks for one.  I mean, you are already rich and famous.  So now you get to write a cookbook and sell a million copies because you decided to?  Who says your food is better than anyone else’s?  No one, besides greedy publishers.  So because you are famous, you get to write a cookbook.  Cat poop in my yard is another injustice.  I do not own a cat.  Also it makes me sad when I think of all the beautiful places in the world I will never see.  The mountains of New Zealand, the lake country in England.  Basically all of Tahiti.  Well for me that injustice has been amended slightly.  I have had the chance to see one of the most beautiful places in the world.  The US and British Virgin Islands.  It is a paradise, and I got to go there.  It is true that it is a paradise with the stain of civilization and poverty, but a paradise nonetheless.  Actually, some of the things that make it paradisaical were man-made.  A restaurant on the beach with a hammock to lay in after your meal.  A house on a cliff overlooking the ocean.  Snorkel masks and flippers so I could see the world below the surface of the beautiful blue water.  Do I feel lucky?  Oh yes.  And a little bit spoiled.  Now I am back in reality where I don’t go out to eat every night and I don’t fall asleep listening to the sound of the ocean.  It is so great to be back home with our kids, who did not accompany us, but I already miss the sunshine and warm sand.

The Christensen Clan at Magen's Bay. I do not know why Kim's dad looks like he is about to throw up. The lighting was better in this picture than in the other one where he doesn't look like that.

Clockwise from top left: the boys at Coki beach, Kim and I at Tavern on the Waterfront, the ladies at Mermaids Chair, Kim admiring the view from our house, eating fresh coconut, me owning the big floppy hat look, Kim and I on Maho beach where we saw sting rays and sea turtles, Kim enjoying the merchandise at the Belgian Chocolate store.

Our day at Virgin Gorda, minus one repeat. Sorry! Virgin Gorda is in the British Virgin Islands. We had to renew Kim's passport just so we could go to this one island. It was worth it!

We also took a lot of videos and put them here on YouTube.  It was done mostly for the benefit of our kids so they could see what we were doing from day to day.  So if you choose to watch them, keep that in mind.  If you fall asleep or switch to “Charlie Bit My Finger”, I totally understand.